I do not currently have the capability of accepting any type of credit or debit cards as payment (unless you are willing to leave the card - and all associated PIN numbers - with me for a period of 30 days).

 

I can no longer accept frozen chickens or turkeys as payment as my freezer is already filled to capacity with such.  My apartment is currently too small to accommodate any pigs or cows.

 

Also, the last batch of magic beans I received in payment for my services turned out to be defective.  The only thing that grew from them was a giant stalk that burst through the roof and from which emerged a big "ex-football player build" guy named Jack who was screaming something about his goose that lays golden eggs.  I fed hiim a hot meal of some homemade chicken soup and sent him on his way.  Then I proceeded to chop down the bean stalk so that he would not drop by unexpectedly again.

 

INTRODUCTORY (1 hour)

BASIC (1 1/2 hours)

 

 

My incall rate structure for "trolls" is as follows (effective 11/17/05):

INTRODUCTORY = $ 150

BASIC = $ 200

 

INTRODUCTORY = $ 300

BASIC = $ 400

 

INTRODUCTORY  = $ 450

BASIC = $ 600

 

INTRODUCTORY = $ 600

BASIC = $ 800

 

When scheduling a private session, please understand that I am committing time from my schedule to accommodate your session.  In all fairness, you should feel a sense of commitment to that time as well.  If you are unable to keep your scheduled appointment, you should notify me by telephone as soon as possible, so that I might offer the time I made available for your session to someone else.

 

If you do not notify me at least 24 hours prior to your scheduled session, you are obligated for the full cost of the session.

 

Likewise, if you do not show for your session, you are also obligated to pay for the full cost of your session.

 

If you are unable to accept these terms, it is best that you consider not scheduling a session with me in the first place.

 

(an energizing blend invigorating to both body and mind)

 

Sea Salt, Expeller Pressed Almond Oil, High Oleic Safflower Oil, Sunflower Seed Oil, Grapeseed Oil, Apricot Kernel Oil, Avocado, Celtic Sea Salts, Peppermint Oil, Rosemary Oil, Green Tea Leaf, Hibiscus Flower, Neem Leaf, Vitamin E

 

(a deep relaxation blend promoting a calm mind and body)

 

Sea Salt, Expeller Pressed Almond Oil, High Oleic Safflower Oil, Sunflower Seed Oil, Grapeseed Oil, Lavender Essential Oil (Lavandula angustifolia), Apricot Kernel Oil, Avocado Oil, Dead Sea Salt, Infusion of Green Tea Leaf and St. John's Wort Leaf & Flower, Vitamin E

 

(a citrus blend soothing to the body and mind)

 

Sea Salt, Expeller Pressed Almond Oil, High Oleic Safflower Oil, Sunflower Seed Oil, Grapeseed Oil, Apricot Kernel Oil, Avocado Oil, Dead Sea Salt, Tangerine Essential Oil, Sweet Orange Essential Oil, Infusion of Ginseng (panax ginseng) Root, Basil, Ginkgo and Sage Leaf, Vitamin E

 

(an elevating blend helping to open the mind to a world of possibility)

 

Sea Salt, Expeller Pressed Almond Oil, High Oleic Safflower Oil, Sunflower Seed Oil, Grapeseed Oil, Apricot Kernel Oil, Avocado Oil, Dead Sea Salt, Vanilla Fragrance, Infusion of Basil, Ginkgo and Sage Leaf, Vitamin E